Duchess Meghan's Flawless Middle Part

It started as an innocent trip to Trader Joe’s on a Friday night. We’d worked hard on this issue of Polo Lifestyles all day and I wanted a couple of nice steaks for dinner, maybe some broccolini, too.

I found myself in an absolute traffic jam unusual for that time of the evening, but even-more unusual, the vast number of limos and stretch limo Hummers all trying to make a tough left turn into a parking lot. It dawned on me: prom night.

When I finally arrived at Trader Joe’s, it was as though the prom pre-party was in the parking lot, giving me a chance to peruse the 2024 prom fashion do’s and don’ts from behind my Ferragamo shades. I remembered the line from “The Devil Wears Prada,” that explained Miranda’s sunglasses and facial expressions combination when reviewing designers’ new collections: There’s only been one smile on record, and that was Tom Ford in 2001.

The more I looked, the more I was confused. Boys in sloppy, rented tuxes… Okay, fine; but the tennis shoes and patchy facial hair weren’t helping. Plus, every boy seemed to be sporting the same hair style of Shaggy in ScoobyDoo. I didn’t see one forehead! Where are the foreheads? I’d settle for a buzzcut on a couple of the ones with better bone structure. Every forehead was obscured with wavy, frizzy (over-washed), mousy-brown locks. Now the girls were fairing somewhat better, teetering in their heels, their dresses unfortunately already covered up by their dates’ jackets as temperatures started to dip quickly (shawls, girls, shawls!). The girls all seemed to have the same hairstyle as well (individuality anyone?), featuring a hard part down the middle, the same way that 26-year-olds playing 17-year-olds on HBO’s Europhia style their hair (for some reason, I thought the hair styles on Euphoria were part of the culty, cold-as-ice and oversexed storyline).

Anyway, I bought my filets and broccolini and came home and went to my bathroom and shook out my hair and parted it down the middle. I gasped because I looked like Wednesday Adams’ blond cousin. It was horrifying. I tried again, thinking that maybe the trick was to part it and tie it back. Nope. Then out of the blue, the Duchess of Sussex showed up in Wellington for polo rocking a middle part and somehow not looking like Wednesday Adams at all. Our cover story – The Duke and Duchess at Sentebale – and the cover photo feature Duchess Meghan’s strong middle part prominently and I wish more people were talking about it. That’s all*.

Best,

Josh Jakobitz - Editor-in-Chief

Polo Lifestyles

* Another “The Devil Wears Prada” reference